A right laugh.

'Ha ha! I do like a good laugh,' I said to my resident chef. 'Fancy thinking I'd be part of your cookery dem.  The last time I showed an audience how to do anything was as a student midwife in Belfast and had to demonstrate bathing a baby to a group of mothers.  At the end of it, a perplexed mum asked me what a bairn was.'
'Och, a Forres audience will probably understand you better and showing how to make your mother's bannocks will be a dawdle,'  he replied, then warming to persuasion. 'See, Janie, all you'll need to do is pop the mixture on a griddle and watch they don't incinerate. They're perfect for use, savoury or sweet. I'll do the rest. I've been given a packet of Bere Meal so we can incorporate some of that to make blinis. Great for spreading a little lobster or crab on.' With an implication that the bannocks sat on a lower social scale, he said, 'You know. Fancy stuff.'  Then he swiftly added, 'Whatever way, it's for a good cause.  Forres Macmillan fund raising group are having a Christmas Fair event and we've been invited to be part of the entertainment.'

Between leaving things a bit late and difficulty in parking  we'd a rush to set up before our start. As David manfully put on his apron and lined up the blinis, I tried to assemble the wee portable gas cooker. Failure hadn't factored large in our entertainment programme, but who'd have thought such a thing would have afforded such amusement?
Diverted, the audience began to laugh as, in vain, I shook and clicked the dratted thing. Sweat beaded my brow. Panic began. Then, just as the audience began to shout advice, a learned  angel, came to the rescue.
'Look! It's easy,' she said. She turned the pan- rest the right way up, pulled a lever and flicked a switch. A bright blue flame shot up, earning a round of applause..
'That's a fair heat,' called someone from the front row, pushing back her chair. 'D'you think you should move the spare can of gas away from it?'
Oh how we laughed about that … eventually.


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www.janeyeadon.co.uk